An Unachievable Standard

In a great effort to bring revival to our parenting skills, my husband and I were reading through a terrific child training book entitled, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Trip. A repetitive theme throughout the texts’ message was the importance of exhorting our children to turn to Christ for the strength and power to accomplish character change in their lives. The author pointed out how our flesh always wants to win the battle of temptation, obviously. He went on to say—and this is the thought that really struck me—that in parenting, if we reduce God’s standard for our children, thinking it is simply too difficult to accomplish and therefore reducing the standard to one they are more able to keep, then what we’re essentially doing is providing a standard where knowing and trusting God is not essential. Let me say that in another way to ensure it sinks in: We are unable to keep God’s standard in our mere humanness. However, reducing His standard to make it more achievable only discredits our need for God. Instead we must hold our children (and, as I will further pursue, ourselves) to God’s standard, which is only achievable through His strength and the gift of His grace, ensuring our complete and utter need for Him.

That is shepherding. That’s what God wants our children to embrace through our training, and that is what I know He wants us to embrace in our own adult lives.

As a woman seeking to become a wife of noble character, Proverbs 31 is an unachievable goal in your humanness, is it not? So, do we reduce the standard—God’s standard—to mold it into one we can actually keep? Rhetorical questions that I am, however, going to answer with an emphatic, NO! God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His standards are the same yesterday, today, and forever. He doesn’t want the standard to change. He wants our reliance on Him to grow. He wants us to grow in the grace and knowledge of Him. By modifying the standard, we reduce our need for His strength and grace, and we are in desperate need of both!

It is my desire, in honoring my Savior and my husband, to “bring [my husband] good, not harm, all the days of my life” (Proverbs 31:12, NIV). I certainly set out to meet my husband’s needs and build him up, as a Godly helpmeet to him. I am unable. If I seek to accomplish this task in my own strength, I fail. If I seek to accomplish this task by reducing what is required to succeed, I fail. Instead, I pray as Paul prayed for the Ephesians, “…out of His glorious riches He may strengthen [me] with power through His Spirit in [my] inner being” (Ephesians 3:16, NIV). I believe, as Paul confirmed, “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13, NIV). I receive, as Paul did from the Lord, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV).

Our job is to be a humble, pliable, willing vessel. It’s God’s job to mold us and make us into the treasures He has purposed for us to be. God says, “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” (Jeremiah 32:27, NIV). Your inability to be a wife of noble character is not the task that is all of the sudden too hard for the Lord. It has always been and will always be too hard for you. He just requires you to be a willing vessel. And when, in your humanness, you fail, you then need His grace. Accept it, stand up, and offer yourself to Him as a willing vessel again.

The Lord’s standard is great. His expectation is, therefore, that you rely on His strength and grace to grow in your character and meet His standard. As you commit your ways to such a goal, remember, “it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose” (Philippians 2:13, NIV).